Kat’s Window

I am always surprised at how many times I am asked if I took a shower, when exactly I took a shower, and when I plan on taking my next shower. Thai people like to talk about showering almost as much as they like to talk about food. They are not (usually) trying to tell you that you smell; it is simply a form of making conversation.

Not many will like to hear this, but westerners are not usually up to the Thai standard when it comes to personal hygiene. To be honest, they are usually considered to be unclean. Three showers a day is the norm for anyone who can manage it in Thailand. And I don’t just mean a splash in the water; I am referring to a vigorous scrubbing. A shower in the morning, afternoon (or early evening), and before bed is the standard.

If for some reason you show up at someone’s house smelling bad or not feeling fresh, it is not rude at all to ask to use the shower. There is also a good chance that they will offer this service to you. Thailand is filled with an abundance of truly terrible smells. One smell that is noticeably missing is that of body odor.

Thailand’s tropical climate calls for a whole different personal hygiene regiment. During the hottest months of the year three showers a day is truly necessary. In the cooler months, so much showering is not needed but for most it is a habit that is hard to break.

One must remember that most people in Thailand do not have the luxury of air-conditioning and that many roads are not paved, meaning you get a good solid dusting when cars drive by. Within Thailand’s cities, pollution is another factor that should never be overlooked. After walking around Bangkok for an afternoon, I sometimes take the edge of my credit card or train pass and scrape it along my face just for kicks. The amount of black grime left behind is truly amazing.

Many different fungi thrive in the heat. Powder is used after bathing as a way to thoroughly dry the skin and to prevent skin infections. It is also placed on the face, sometimes in geometric or other artistic designs to add beauty to the wearer. This practice is particularly popular in the countryside.

Mentholated powders are very popular and leave your body feeling like one gigantic breath mint for hours. There are also many pharmaceutical products to aid in the battle against different skin infections. I was expecting to have nice moist skin while living here. The opposite is true. From all the showering and powdering, my skin is drier than it ever has been.

Making a polite presentation in Thailand consists of being neatly dressed and smelling fresh. If you do smell, you have the chance of having it pointed out to you. The inevitable stinky situation does, of course, happen. When I am in this jam, I state, “I want to take a shower.” This lets those around me know that I am not being intentionally rude.

At many hotels and residences there is no hot water; be warned. Many other places do not have access to running water. Instead it is stored in gigantic vats. A plastic or metal bowl is used to scoop up the water and dump it on your body. Another thing worth noting is that it is incredibly rude to bathe naked in Thailand. A cotton wrap around (longyi) must be worn while bathing in public. In remote Thailand a public bathhouse can usually be found in the main town. Rivers, ponds, and streams are also used for bathing.

Another way to combat bad smells is to carry a little tube of menthol inhaler around. If you see Thais sniffing into a small metal or plastic tube about the size of a Chap Stick, they are simply freshening their noses.

I have nothing against trying not to smell bad or smell bad smells, but sometimes the Thai fixation on hygiene goes too far. It is common to see people popping each other’s zits in public. Nose picking is not seen as a rude gesture. I even saw a singer in a hotel lounge doing it during her performance. Combing each other’s hair for lice and other debris is another popular pastime. Roadside sellers can be seen doing this more often than not even if they are food vendors.

Many of Bangkok’s beauty salons will offer to clean your ears for you as part of the service. Unfortunately, sometimes the device they use for this has been used on all those who sat in the chair before you. It’s best to decline. When in Rome do as the Roman’s do to a certain degree. When in Thailand, shower.

A few weeks ago I spotted two roosters cruising on the back of a motorcycle. At first I thought the owners were just taking the birds for a joy ride (not kidding). I asked around and learned that the roosters were on their way to a practice sparring match. My curiosity was immediately raised.

A mere five minutes from my house is a shabby piece of property that could easily be referred to as ‘rooster central.’ I stopped in to find out who all of the roosters belonged to and proceeded to make an appointment to meet up with the owner at 5 pm the following day.

Prayat greeted me with suspicion and seemed more than confused about why a female foreigner would be interested in chatting about roosters. I stood on the property surrounded by roaming chickens, caged roosters, garbage, and staring faces coming from the many tin-walled houses on the lot. I felt oh-so-very out of place. After an extended and uncomfortable silence, I started asking questions.

Prayat is the proud owner of eight chickens and six roosters. The roosters range in price from 500-2,500 baht (11-55 US Dollars). His champion bird (the most expensive one) has won four fights this year. Prayat usually makes about 5,000 baht (111 US Dollars) per fight. He took the champ out of his cage to have him pose for some photos.

Prayat and his friends have practice fights every Saturday. They have a one-metre high piece of hard but flexible foam material. It reminded me of a camping mat. It is unwound to make a small ring which is about three-metres in diameter. The ground has 100-year-old-looking ‘Astroturf’ on it to provide the animals more traction.

I learned that they do not fight the animals to the death nor do they attach razors to their feet. Prayat tells me, “some people in Thailand box roosters with razors. We do not. It is too expensive to lose your bird.” A match consists of ten rounds. Each round lasts 20 minutes with a 20-minute break in between. Most roosters only fight for about four rounds. “When the rooster stops boxing or jumps out of the ring, he is the loser.”

I asked if the roosters peck at each other with their beaks during a fight. (How am I supposed to know?) Everyone laughed at me long and hard. Prayat explained to me, “they kick each other with their feet. That is why we wrap (athletic) tape around them.”

He attends a formal fight about once a month. There are rooster-fighting stadiums within Bangkok and in the countryside. Prayat states, “About 300-400 people attend. It lasts from 9 am-6 pm. The stadium makes money by charging ten percent on all bets. Whether you win or lose, they get ten percent. When two super champion roosters come into the ring, over one million baht can be riding on the fight.” Rooster fights happen in Bangkok about three times a week.

Rooster fighting is not something you hear about in general conversation. It is not listed in tour guides, nor does it get much press. When asked about problems with the police, Prayat told me, “they know about it. We don’t have trouble with the police. They come and gamble on the roosters, too.”

When I asked why the roosters like to fight each other, I was chuckled at again and told, “when they see each other, they just want to fight. That’s why they are in these cages. Some of the roosters here also like to box people. It hurts!”

As I stood talking to Prayat, a man tended to a rooster who recently got beat up in a practice round. He painstakingly washed the bird and hand fed fruit to it. Sitting in front him was a bottle of Betadine, penicillin pills and injections, and a bowl of water. He appeared tragically hung over and very fond of roosters. Prayat said, “he is our rooster doctor. He loves the birds.”

Prayat bragged, “this year I have won many many fights.” He wouldn’t give me a financial figure though. Like most people who enjoy gambling, he likes to talk about his profits, not his losses. He lives in a small one-room apartment with a rent of 2,900 baht (64 US Dollars) per month. During the day he sells coffee at the local market and claimed to average about 700 baht (15.50 US Dollars) per day profit.

He tells me, “I do rooster-fighting for fun. Not for the money.” I would wager that Prayat is losing more than he is winning. Given his income and the number of gambling wins he claimed, he should be living larger than he is. I was invited to attend a rooster-fight with Prayat and friends. “Bring a bottle of whisky!” they said. I told them I would think about it.

The men then brought out two roosters who performed a two-minute sample fight for me. They kicked like mad at each other the minute they were placed on the ground. Prayat put them back in their cages and covered the pens with cloth so that they could get a good night’s sleep.

That night a friend asked me what I had been up to during the day. “Hanging out with the rooster-fighting guy in my neighbourhood,” I replied. “Gasp! How could you?” she asked. My answer was and remains: “It is what it is.”

One thing most everyone loves about Thailand is the wealth of fresh and delicious fruit that is available all year round. I have had the luck to be exposed to many a new fruit since living here and am currently addicted to mango, pineapple and mangosteen. Asking other people what kind of fruit they like the best is a rather standard way of making conversation.

Many Thais want to know if I like durian, the strangest smelling of all fruits. Banned from busses, taxis, and even elevators, anyone who has tried durian will have a strong statement to make about its bizarre taste and smell. If given a choice, I would not eat it, but I also don’t go running away in fear when it is offered to me. Fruit makes for cheap snacking and it is always easy to find something you like. I recently headed down to one of my local stalls to get the scoop on fruit vending.

I talked to Somchai (63) about the business. He is married to Yusup (52) and they have seven children. Yusup and Somchai live in the back of their store with five other family members. Two of their children work at the store with their parents and the others work as fruit wholesalers at a gigantic local market.

There are two small bedrooms, a large open cooking area, a bathroom and the storefront. Nothing fancy. The rent is 10,000 baht per month (222 US Dollars) and includes electricity. Because the family lives in the store they can easily keep long hours; 6am-7pm, seven days a week.

Somchai says they average about 1,500 baht per day profit, giving them 42,000 baht (933 US Dollars) per month. They spend one quarter of their income on food. Somchai stated, “we buy our food at the local market across the street. We cook for ourselves everyday and do not eat out.”

The store is piled high with fruit. Mangoes, rambutan, coconuts, bananas, durian, mandarin oranges, grapes, pineapples, coconuts, and watermelons provide a stunning array of colour. Prices range from 10-50 baht per kilogramme of fruit (0.22-1.11 US Dollars).

Somchai operates on a 5-15 baht profit for every kilogramme of fruit he sells. He must turnover roughly 200 kilogrammes per day to make his average profit. He drives to the gigantic wholesale market with his pickup truck to fetch his merchandise. He says he does not buy from his children who work there. I didn’t ask why. Before launching his fruit stall five years ago, Somchai and his wife used to drive with their pickup truck to different factories during the day to sell fruit to the employees.

I asked Somchai if he ever shops at the French-owned mega-store ‘Big-C’ that is up the street from his store. He stated, “I buy milk, shampoo, laundry detergent, and other things for cleaning there.” A curious customer who had been listening to us chat chimed in, “I like to buy my fruit here. They are friendly to all the customers. They are cheaper than the big stores, and I can bargain with them.” She bought enough fruit to feed a small army and took off.

As I looked around his store, I noticed two things: gigantic pictures of Mecca and sheets of winning lottery numbers posted on the wall. Somchai said, “I am Muslim, but I am not from southern Thailand. I am from Ayuthaya (one hour north of Bangkok). My wife is the one who likes to play the lottery. I don’t like it, but I would like to win that big money.”

Somchai is a good host. He brings me a Coca Cola and tries to convince me to eat some pineapple. As I took photographs he became disappointed. “You should come back at 4 p.m. We will have a big fruit delivery. Then you can see the big piles of beautiful fruit. Right now we don’t have very much,” he insisted. I did in fact pass Somchai’s store that evening at 6 p.m. The fruit piles had tripled in size.

After I finished talking to Somchai, I went to Big-C to compare prices. I learned that pineapple, watermelon, and coconut were all good values. Nevertheless, Somchai’s shop averages out to be fifty-four percent cheaper if one were to purchase seven pieces of fruit. In addition, ‘Big-C’ sometimes uses Styrofoam padding around their fruit, causing waste and additional weight on your bill.

I have learned that my small neighbourhood shops can provide most everything I need. I prefer shopping this way. It keeps me out of neon lighting and artic air-conditioning. I know where my money is going. On top of that, seven times out of ten it is cheaper.

I hope that local stalls like Somchai’s can hold their own against the impending crush of the super convenient mega-stores springing up all over the place. The personal touch, the atmosphere, the bargaining ability and the fact that you often get to see the owner’s family milling about keeps people wanting to return to these roadside venues. Somchai is my number one fruit vendor from here on out.

What I liked best about Somchai’s shop was the cash register: a plastic bucket held up against the ceiling by a pulley system weighted with a rock. This is something a mega-store could simply never compete with.

Thailand hosts a wide range of telephone services. Horoscopes, weather forecasts, psychic insights, betting advice, adult talk, TV guides, horror stories, chat lines, and game shows can all be dialed for a fee. So can karaoke numbers. Just phone up, sing along with your favourite song, and wait for the bill. Paying money to sing into a telephone sounds like a failing business idea to me but it is proving itself quite popular in karaoke fever land, otherwise known as Thailand.

There is an enormous wealth of talented voices to be heard. From a hotel lobby lounge singer to my neighbours’ backyards, good voices abound. Rural life in Thailand often does not include stereo equipment. It is common to see people singing around a guitar player instead. But when the opportunity presents itself, everyone goes running for the karaoke microphone. And let’s not forget all of those karaoke videos for sale everywhere.

Singing is a very big pastime in Thailand. People sing while they work, sing while they drive, and sing just to sing. Most home stereos come equipped with karaoke capabilities and people are proud about the quality of microphones they own. A friend of mine performs karaoke at his house and records it. He then plays the tapes in his car.

Karaoke clubs thrive and karaoke machines can be found at your little neighbourhood bar or your office canteen. These machines replace the jukebox. Put in a few coins, choose your song, and get singing! No one seems shy about it. At some offices heading to the canteen to sing a few songs with colleagues before heading home is common. You can order a few beers for the occasion if you want to. Picture this happening at your own office and perhaps you might have a chuckle or two.

It is surprising to see how many Thais know the words to so many songs even without the karaoke monitor to prompt them. If you attend a local concert, more often than not the crowd is louder than the band. Groups of singing picnickers in the park can fly through an entire song without floundering around for the words.

Perhaps it helps that most of the popular Thai music is quite mellow. Pop songs, country songs, and jazz are the most prominently heard sounds. Heavy metal, rap, or super hard rock has not taken over Thailand yet. When this happens, the words will become infinitely more difficult to figure out.

Thailand’s love for karaoke can be seen in the advertisements hanging out in front of some hotels. Luring customers by listing: ‘Cable TV, Restaurant, Pool, Karaoke Lounge, Billiards Room, and Fitness Studio’ helps to illustrate this point. My favourite part about karaoke lounges is that (more often than not) they are out-of-this-world tacky.

Karaoke bars are big fun. Not only do they provide music, but food and drink too. No one will force you to get up there (except perhaps your own friends). I guarantee you will be shocked at the length and scope of the song list. English songs ranging from Led Zeppelin to Frank Sinatra can be found even at the smallest of karaoke venues. German, Chinese, Japanese, Russian, and French songs also make the play lists. And there is always the standard and extensive list of Thai songs too.

I used to think karaoke was just a big joke. Back in the United States there is a small scattering of karaoke bars. I remember a place in South Carolina that had weekly karaoke competitions. Ironically, the person who won almost every week was tone deaf. She was so bad she was good.

Karaoke is taken more seriously in Thailand. It’s no laughing matter when the microphone comes your way. A sixteen-year-old boy I know once drank a wine cooler. The next minute he was up on stage singing with the band, and we weren’t even at a karaoke club!

Singing and I do not mix. Sometimes while listening to a great song I might pick up a fork or pen and sing into it for kicks but no one was ever around. I once participated in singing Thai songs by using the English phonetics written on the bottom of the screen. A total disaster. And once there were some Billy Joel songs and a group of friends late at night. Be grateful that you missed it.

Don’t worry, I have never seen anyone booed off stage nor have I seen any tomatoes getting tossed. The worst thing that can happen is your microphone getting turned down or a clever friend sneaking along a tape recorder. There are also private karaoke rooms for rent if one wishes to make it a more formal and less public occasion.

Karaoke fever illustrated itself with full gusto this past weekend. The dive boat I was on had a two-hour trip back to land. The captain and crew make this trip two times every day. Sound boring? Wrong. The crews on all the various ships in the area took turns singing to each other over their radios as we chugged back to land.