Kat’s Window

Thailand is famous for its stunning traditional architecture. More modern forms of architecture include the brave and beautiful, the bland and functional and last but not least, the ultimate in bizarre. Bangkok’s cement jungle boasts and hosts some of the strangest visions out there.

One of the more famous ones: The Elephant Building. Upon first looking at this strange structure, there is a feeling of awe and shock. The building comes complete with fully functional office space in the tusks and ears. The final touch is the humongous aquarium-like glass eyes. I have always wondered if there is office space in the eyeballs, too. Not an office to be assigned to if you are afraid of heights and don’t like washing windows.

The Elephant Building is on Phaholyothin Road in Chatuchak District. It makes a superb landmark once you get lost and want to get heading in the right direction again. This wonder was completed in 1998, is a 32-story structure and boasts full capacity. Believe it or not, people don’t only work in this building but live in it too! Perhaps Christo should come to Bangkok and wrap The Elephant Building in some plastic. I’d be the first to show up and watch.

Another Bangkok hum-dinger is The Robot Building. Yep, it is a fully functional office in the disguise of a robot and can be seen poking its head up on Sathorn Road. Not only does it come complete with antennae, eyes, ears and wheels but is also the headquarters for the Bank of Asia. The Robot Building hit the scene in 1985. It is only a 20-story high structure and its bolts and wheels not only look cool, but they also provide shade from the sun.

With a building like this already in existence I must wonder. If an alien ship parked in Bangkok, would it be noticed right away? And would the aliens try to communicate with this building?

With these two (in)famous structures setting the tone, you can imagine the other goodies you can stumble on while driving in Bangkok. My greatest off-the-beaten-track find and personal favourite: The Love Boat. If you are driving up on the expressway heading east from the Rangsit area, you can look down and see an actual cement rendition of ‘The Love Boat’ itself.

Inspired from the romantic TV show sharing the same name, this boat also rents out rooms to those enjoying its ‘massage parlour’ services. Getting a good picture is not possible due to the threat of being flattened by oncoming cars on the expressway but I must wonder what the Captain would think about this one.

Another architectural wonder in Bangkok is in the Muang Thong Thani area. A drive through this village is guaranteed to leave you scratching your head and wondering where all the people have gone. This was intended to be a gigantic skyscraper housing development but it ended up going bust during Thailand’s financial crisis. The long row of bleak gray towers look finished from a distance, but once you are actually in the area you will end up waiting for some tumbling tumbleweeds or wondering if a small war took place in the village. It is downright eerie.

I spent today looking for a building that is said to resemble a wedding cake on Soi 55. Well, I did manage to find one building with lunar qualities whose balconies looked like upside down gigantic fruit bowls of various shapes and sizes. And another building with a dragon exploding out of the front of it. On the drive home I marveled at all of the incomplete bridges and expressways looming over my head. I looked in the sides of incomplete skyscrapers. The wedding cake building eluded me but the hunt for it was more entertaining than expected.

If you enjoy wacky structures, Bangkok is a gold mine. If you tire of looking at the architecture, how about paying attention to all of those TV antennae left up on all of the roofs after the city subscribed to cable. You could make a fortune salvaging them if you were crafty and could find a way to resell them.

Strange structures expand beyond buildings. A recent nighttime outing left me standing in a parking lot with two amazingly tall standing figures. A gigantic plywood Elvis loomed on one side of the parking lot and an equally large and foreboding plywood lobster hovered on the other. They were massively illuminated to boot. It was heavenly! I was so impressed I didn’t even bother to admire the surrounding buildings. Due to the vast size of this city, I have never been able to figure out where I was in the first place or how to get back to that parking lot but I keep hoping for an accidental reunion at some point. And I always keep my eyes peeled for the next incredible find.

Nowadays a tuk-tuk symbolises Thailand almost as much as an elephant. Sometimes also referred to incorrectly but affectionately as ‘toot-toots’ and ‘tut-tuts’ by visitors, these adorable little three-wheeled taxis get their name from the not-so-adorable sound their motorcycle-like engines make.

Tuk-tuks provide fast and sometimes nerve-wracking rides through clogged streets. While riding in a tuk-tuk, I am usually half-convinced it is going to flip over. I am relieved and surprised when it does not. I find tuk-tuks to be downright huggable except while I am riding in one.

Tuk-tuk drivers don’t have an easy time of it. They sit in polluted streets all day with no windows to put up. Their vehicles do not provide them much protection in case of an accident or rain. There is also a lot of competition for passengers.

I recently talked to 40-year-old Tanaporn about the ins and outs of tuk-tuk driving. When I met up with him, he had been waiting in line for three hours outside a shopping centre and hadn’t had a customer yet. He was in queue with seven other tuk-tuks and had made it to the third in line. “I’ll make my money in the evening. That is when the markets will get very busy.”

He’s been driving his very own beat-up tuk-tuk, which he bought used for 170,000 baht (3,777 US dollars), for ten years. He can make 300 baht profit (6.66 US dollars) in one day after paying 150 baht for gas. If he works every day, he can take home 8,400 baht (186 US dollars) per month. He averages 40 baht (0.88 US dollars) per ride.

Tanaporn works just outside of Bangkok in a province called Nonthaburi. Tuk-tuks registered in Bangkok can drive anywhere they please. Tanaporn’s opinion on this is: “If Bangkok drivers can drive here, I should be able to drive there!” There is a plus side to working outside of Bangkok, though. “The air out here is not as bad as in the city but it is still pretty bad.”

Tanaporn is the father of three children (aged 20, 12, and 10). They all attend school and the family lives with his mother and father in a three-room house. When asked about finances, he proclaimed, “I don’t know how much anything costs. My wife takes care of all my money.” The group of fellow tuk-tuk drivers that had assembled around us chuckled. When asked the maximum speed a tuk-tuk can travel there was much chatter. Everyone finally agreed upon 60 k.p.h. (37 m.p.h.).

The most difficult thing about being a tuk-tuk driver according to him is… “All of the waiting. I get bored.” His remedy? “I read the newspaper, listen to music and I sleep a lot.” When he needs money, his days can start at 3 a.m. and end at 7 or 8 p.m. “When I finish work, I am really tired. I work every day,” he told me.

The strangest thing that he has ever transported in his tuk-tuk was “many dogs accompanied by their owner.” Tanaporn said that up to ten school children have fit in the back for a ride.

When asked if he’s ever had non-paying customers, he stated, “It has happened to me two times. They said to wait while they went to get the money but they never came back.”

Tuk-tuk drivers have the reputation of over charging tourists. When asked about this he exclaimed, “I charge them the same price as I do Thais! Having tourists come to Thailand is good because they bring money with them.”

The city that never sleeps is being forced to go to bed early these days thanks to strict enforcement of laws regarding the sale of alcohol in Thailand. When this new initiative was first talked about, most probably didn’t take it very seriously. I know I didn’t. Elephants aren’t allowed in Bangkok but I see them every day. Speed limits are ignored by most. I certainly was not the only one who thought these new regulations would fall into a gray zone. Nightlife was so large it seemed invincible. Wrong. You better make sure your drink is finished and you’re out the door on time these days, and I am not kidding.

Prime Minister Thaksin’s campaign slogan was “New Thinking, New Ways” and the rules as laid out by Interior Minister Purachai Piumsombun certainly help illustrate this motto. “Entertainment venues must close at 2 a.m., venues which serve alcohol must close at 1 a.m., and food shops and stalls must stop serving alcohol at midnight.” (Bangkok Post, August 28, 2001)

Although underage drinking is the main point of concern and discussion, all venues regardless of whom they cater to are being patrolled nightly. Bustling nightlife is biting the dust. Terrified establishment owners will come around and whisk your glass right out of your hand as police stand outside the door. Fines are being handed out left and right for violations. Urine samples have been collected on the spot and tested for drugs.

Government officials believe that by strictly enforcing these laws they will help restore social order, reduce crime and underage drinking, and promote a more positive image of Thailand to the rest of the world. Nighttime hotspots have been fingered as areas that promote crime and drug addiction among Thai youths. Because of rebellious teenagers, everyone has been grounded.

This is a real shock for Thai and foreign nighthawks alike who are used to having the option of staying out all night if they choose to. Now when I go out to watch live music, the musicians spend as much time looking at their watches as they do the crowd.

New zoning laws are underway to limit the number of entertainment venues and determine their permitted locations. Licensing fees are going to increase, and strict enforcement of the ‘under 18, no entry’ law is planned. I wonder what the plan is for entertaining all of the bored teenagers (and adults) once this is all successfully carried out.

Some wives and girlfriends may now be pleased that their men come home much earlier, and those who don’t like to go out at night don’t really care about the crackdown - YET. The financial impact of the new policy is immense. Establishment owners and employees, taxi drivers, and street vendors have already felt their wallets getting lighter. No one can spend money if they are sound asleep in bed, Thai and tourist alike.

I figure if this keeps up, bored and/or broke voters are sure to strike back in the next election. If the tourists stop coming once word gets out that the party is over, Thailand is going to miss them no matter how much it likes to complain about their misbehaviour. You don’t miss something until it is gone, especially when it comes to income.

Can you actually picture Thailand being an organized place? New York City without yellow taxicabs? Venice without canals? Paris without baguette? Bangkok without its nightlife? No more karaoke until dawn. No more dancing until the sun comes up. No more all night blow out rock concerts. And trust me, most that are out dancing, singing and/or drinking aren’t rowdy teenagers nor are they in it for drugs or crime; they are in it for fun.

Having fun (’sanuk’) is a priority in all aspects of life for Thais. If markets and shopping centres in Thailand have a cheerful party-like atmosphere, you can imagine how festive it is when everyone really lets his or her hair down. Being tossed out on your ear just when the night is revving itself into high gear is definitely not ’sanuk’. Fun for Thais is a very organic and spontaneous occurrence that knows no clock.

New thinking and new ways are often easier said than done. Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra now “wants his interior minister to reach a compromise in his campaign for social order…He ruled out a public hearing but said an academic study would be suitable.” (Bangkok Post, September 2, 2001)

Sure, everyone is catching up on sleep but taking a late night tuk-tuk ride in the city has lost its vibrancy. The late night hustle and bustle is gone and the streets have a quiet and eerie feeling to them. Making an entire nation head home early so that teenagers keep out of trouble is drastic indeed. For some the level of curiosity about how this situation will turn out in the end is certainly as high as their level of boredom.

Although Bangkok is filled with massage establishments, it can be hard to find a truly good masseuse. I was very happy when I found Sunthan. She is a 24-year old woman who now owns a small massage business in my neighbourhood. I have been a regular customer since the doors opened in October.

Sunthan first worked as an employee at her present location along with four other women. When her boss decided to go out of business this May, Sunthan convinced a co-worker to become partners with her and buy the business.

She explained, “We each needed 22,500 baht (500 US dollars). We bought the air conditioner, one sofa, chairs, a telephone, plants, two mattresses, massage oils, pants for clients to wear while they get a massage, two fans, towels, buckets, soap and brushes for cleaning people’s feet. We sewed the curtains, made the signs and built the shelves ourselves.” When asked where the investment money came from, she told me “I borrowed it from my family and friends. I pay back about 3,000 baht (66 US dollars) a month.”

A one-hour foot or traditional Thai massage costs 200 baht (4.40 US dollars). When it is not busy, the women usually throw in a half-hour more for ‘free’ hoping for a tip and to keep their customers happy. Sunthan stated, “We work from 9 a.m.-9 p.m. every day and alternate customers between us. On Monday-Friday we usually have three to four customers total per day. On Saturday and Sunday we get up to ten.”

The women pay 5,000 baht (111 US dollars) per month to rent the small business space. Electricity costs about 500 baht (11 US dollars) and the air conditioner stays off until a customer arrives. When asked if she likes her present job, she said, “If I find a job that pays me more money, I will take it. I make 8,000 baht (178 US dollar) a month now if I am lucky.”

When I asked her what she likes to do for fun, she replied without hesitation, “Sleep!” Not only does she have up to an 84-hour work week but she is also the single mother of a five-year-old daughter named Lalita. No wonder she is tired.

When asked about her education, she said, “I went to school until the age of nine. Then my family moved to Bangkok to get work. I got a job helping to build condominiums…they paid me 60 baht (1.30 US dollars) a day when I started and 148 baht (3.28 US dollars) when I finished (at age 22). I went back to school for over a year.” She then took an eight-day massage course, a fact that stunned me because she gives one great massage. She has been a masseuse for the last two years.

She lives with her mother, step-father, and daughter in a small tin-roofed house that they built. They pay 700 baht (15.50 US dollars) per month to rent the land they live on, 500 baht (11 US dollars) for electricity, and 200 baht (4.40 US dollars) for water. The four-person family needs 5,600 baht per month for food (1.11 US dollars per person per day). Sunthan spends 570 baht a month on transportation for her and her daughter. She is the main financial support of her household.

The family owns a refrigerator and a television and has no phone or stereo. When asked why her electric bill is so high, she responded, “My house does not have a number assigned to it so we cannot have our own electricity meter. We buy electricity from a neighbour. Electricity should be four baht per unit but the neighbour charges us double.”

Her mother is 50 years old and does not work. Her step-father is 68 years old and works as a gardener when possible. She stated, “Sometimes he has a job for the day, sometimes he doesn’t. Sometimes he can’t go because it is raining.” He can earn 180 baht (4 US dollars) per day.

When asked what she would do if hypothetically given 5,000 baht (111 US dollars), she thought long and hard. “I would fix our house,” she said finally. As long as the customers keep coming, Sunthan and her family will keep scraping by.