Kat’s Window

Speaking softly is considered as a sign of good manners in Thailand and conversations tend to purr along. One of my recent visitors remarked that listening to Thais speaking together is like listening to the voices of angels. Thailand’s love of noise tends to express itself outside personal verbal interactions. Thais have a knack for sleeping and usually would not complain about noise in the first place but they can be extremely good at making it.

Whether in downtown Bangkok or out in the countryside, Thailand is always ready to send a motorcycle without a muffler, a rooster or a pack of fighting street dogs under your window at the least opportune moment.

While exploring Thailand you can often find yourself stuck in a fog of white noise. Karaoke machines blare, shopping centres blast piercing tunes from every stereo on sale in the store. Pick-up trucks roam the streets selling every item under the sun from the back of them. Stereo speakers appear in the strangest places. Loudspeakers are mounted on every roof so that bargain prices can be announced over the other clamor. Microphones are put to use at all times. Street vendors sometimes come armed with bullhorns. If no amplifying device is at hand, they simple shout their prices. Add to this the numerous bells, whistles, songs and horns being used to announce their arrival in the area and yes, you have got yourself a real racket.

One of my absolute favourite features in the landscape of Thailand’s noise is the infamous traffic guard armed with a whistle. There are hundreds of them. They can be found in every parking lot, major intersection and shopping area. Their job, as I understand it, is to help traffic flow smoothly and to help people park. What they actually do is blow their whistle all day long. As you turn into their parking area, they greet you with a series of shrill whistles. As you park, they whistle. If you put the car into reverse, they tweet away. As you pull out they give a couple more good blasts. What message the whistling is supposed to deliver is a mystery indeed. Out of 95 identical shrills, which one means stop and which one means go exactly?

Thailand’s traffic creates a reverberation of chaos. Trucks, cars, motorcycles, tuk-tuks, boats and busses can all be relied on to clank, chug, churn, and squeal away. The sound of traffic is often as chaotic as the traffic itself. An interesting unspoken rule is that no matter how much noise your personal vehicle is making, how horrible the traffic jam is or how brutally the driver in front of you just cut you off, honking your horn would be considered an extremely rude thing to do. If a honk is absolutely needed it should be given in a very short manner.

A few months ago I spent a week in a rural Thai village. Although this may sound peaceful and relaxing, it was the largest auditory adventure of my life. Bamboo houses were tucked close together, meaning when one house had a karaoke party, domestic dispute, decided to practice playing guitar or watched television, all the neighbouring houses more than knew about it. I couldn’t get up and shut the window because there was no window to shut. Staying in rural Thailand means that you go to sleep with the whole village and get up when the whole village decides you will or in my case, when the local market opens and closes.

The local market located not so greatly near where I was staying had made the recent decision to become louder. The town committee organised some loudspeakers and stereo equipment and proceeded to put them into full use at 6 a.m. every morning. Wonderful earsplitting entertainment consisting of news and the same three tapes played over and over blared throughout the day and into the night.

Neither my two friends nor I could sleep no matter how we tried. Our earplugs failed us. We would stagger up a dirt road every morning to go eat breakfast at a friend’s house with bags under our eyes. We schemed about how to disconnect the loudspeaker. We wondered how anyone could sleep. We asked opinions about the noise. “The committee decided that the village would like it and it would not be polite to complain about it,” was one answer. Other people seemed confused that we would be asking about it in the first place.

As I sat in the living room desperately waiting for my coffee, I looked down at my friend’s table and saw his daughter’s book on it. The title: “Life In A Noisy Village”, written in English, although the text was in Thai. Through my haze of exhaustion I gave a heartfelt chuckle. Woeful and wondrous, Thailand’s sounds are indeed part of its charm.

In this great concrete jungle known as Bangkok you may be surprised to know that there is an absolute abundance of stunningly gorgeous flowers for sale at unbelievably low prices. Visitors usually rant and rave about the variety and bargains and more than a few people go to catch planes toting large bunches of flora with them. Many that live here invest in a small army of vases and keep them filled to the brim. Hotel lobbies boast some of the most outrageously large and artistic floral arrangements around.

Cut flowers can be found in stores, on the street and also get carried into restaurants and bars by hawkers. Flowers, flowers and more flowers provide visual and olfactory relief while walking the streets and hey, just about everyone loves looking at them.

The busiest and most famous of all flower markets is located in Chinatown near the Memorial Bridge. Things kick off at about 4 a.m. as fresh flowers come in by the truckload. They are sold in the cramped and bustling Chinatown flower market and also whisked off to other parts of the city. A stroll through this market will definitely open up your eyes, be it at 4 a.m. or 4 p.m. You are almost guaranteed not only to get your feet driven over and stomped on several times in the crowds but also to walk away with many more flowers than you ever planned on purchasing.

I recently visited a smaller less chaotic flower market on Sukhumvit Road in Bangkok where I talked to a very cheerful 25-year-old flower vendor named Nun. She has been selling flowers for the last five years with her sister-in-law. Unfortunately for her she works right next to one of Bangkok’s busiest, loudest and more polluted roads. When asked if she likes her location, she said, “No, but I don’t have a choice. It is a busy street but that means it is good for business.”

Prices at her stand were very reasonable. A large arrangement of orchids cost 50 baht (US$1.14) and fragrant white lilies were only 150 baht (US$3.41) for five stems. Birds of paradise cost 50 baht for one stem and roses were 50 baht for ten.

Nun works from 8 a.m-6p.m. every day and averages about 500 baht per day in salary (US$11.36). She was born and raised in Bangkok and is the single mother of a four-year-old daughter. “My mother takes care of her while I am at work. I don’t live with my parents. I share a one-room apartment with my brother, his wife and three other people.” The total rent per month is 5,000 baht (US$113). They share a television and she has a mobile phone.

She likes her job very much but told me, “I would like to go back to school but I don’t have the time or the money.” Nun finished high school and speaks excellent English. When asked where she learned it, she explained, “I only studied English a little bit at school. I learned English here at the flower stall. I talk to customers every day. I like talking.” In her spare time Nun enjoys shopping, watching movies, playing games and talking with her friends. Her dream for the future is to someday have her very own flower stall.

Her boss’ shop is open 24 hours a day, seven days a week and the flowers get delivered from Chinatown early in the morning. Most of them are grown in Thailand but some come from Holland. The mark-up for Thai flowers is about 50% and for imported flowers about 30%. If they have a very busy day, her boss pays her a bit more. Valentine’s Day was a busy time. When asked about this holiday, she told me, “Roses were much more expensive. We charged about three times more than usual. I like Valentine’s Day and I like selling flowers because I get to see people being happy and enjoying life.”

Nun did not have a Valentine this year. “I am looking for someone. I want a man who does not fight and does not run around with other women. This is not easy for me, especially because I already have a child. It is not easy for anyone, I think.” When asked what she would do if hypothetically given 5,000 baht (US$113), she responded, “Put it in the bank for my baby. Definitely not spend any of it.”

Out of all the flowers she sells she likes lilies best of all. “They are just so beautiful!” she told me with her bright smile. Nun seems happy with her life and fits right in with the flowers she sells. She is a natural saleswoman if you ask me and seemed quite content with her life.

They can be found on the country’s busiest commercial roads, sitting on pedestrian overpasses, waiting at traffic lights or walking through market grounds and temple fairs. Hungry mothers with hungrier children, amputees, the unemployed and the addicts can paint some incredibly sad pictures as they sit hoping for some coins to be dropped into their cups. It’s not the most cheerful thing to talk about but people begging in Thailand can be quite difficult to miss. To give or not to give is the usual question.

It should come as no surprise that Thailand’s cities have a high number of panhandlers, especially Bangkok. The hope of striking it rich in the big city lures people from far and wide but this is often a dream and not a reality. Especially when compared to neighbouring countries, the amount of panhandling that goes on in Thailand is negligible and most often amiable.

In general, panhandlers tend to sit either playing an instrument or rather innocuously and hope for the best. It is uncommon to be hassled, grabbed or shouted at as you walk by. In the more popular tourist spots, though, people asking for money can get very forceful and stubborn and desperation sometimes fuels aggression.

Fortunately for the needy, the Buddhist-influenced Thai practice of making merit (’tamboon’) and of being generous without strings attached (called ‘Dana’ in Pali) ensures that small donations are more frequently given out than one might think.

People trying to collect money on the streets very often play a musical instrument or sing into small karaoke machines and many are blind or disabled. There are very few community services offering assistance to these individuals and they often take to the streets as a way to make meager amounts of money.

Last year I visited a community of blind karaoke singers in the western part of Bangkok. Hundreds of blind entertainers resided in a poverty stricken seven-block area. The residents were incredibly independent, resilient and hardworking. The sense of community spirit and caring for each other was also impressive.

The daily schedule of these bands is a busy one. Tuk-tuks arrive at 6 o’clock in the morning and heavy loud speakers, chairs, microphones and keyboards are loaded into the backs of them with ease. Next the groups drive into the big city, find a busy street corner, unload all of the equipment, set it up and then proceed to spend the rest of the day singing.

After paying transportation costs, a five-member band averaged 200 baht for an entire day’s work (US$4.54). These street corner bands can provide some excellent entertainment at times and yes, I drop coins into their donation boxes.

For me it is not always so easy to tell if giving a few coins is a good idea. Unfortunately, the addictive habit of sniffing glue and popping amphetamines is on the rise in Thailand. This means that often you cannot be sure if your donation is going to be used to fuel this habit. I was alarmed a few weeks ago when I spotted a young boy standing on a busy intersection looking quite deranged with a plastic bag grasped desperately in his hand. He was addicted to sniffing thinner.

There are also many tales of panhandlers sometimes being members of organised mafia like rings. This means that the people asking for money are dropped off and picked up by a boss who in turn takes all of their money away. I have been told that if you watch some panhandlers, there is a person on the street in charge of keeping an eye on how much money they are taking in. I have looked for this situation many times but never managed to confirm it. This does not mean that every panhandler is part of an organised scam. It is quite the contrary, in my opinion.

If you are unsure of whether or not your spare change will be used in a constructive way and if you have the time, an excellent solution is to go buy some food or drink and bring it back to the person in need of it. You can also invite them to come along with you for some food if you wish. Invitations and donations are typically greeted with smiles and enthusiasm.

Yes, there are panhandling scams in Thailand, but this is the exception, not the rule. Each individual comes up with his or her way of dealing with panhandlers. A Thai friend’s solution: “It is not possible to give money to everyone who asks you for it. The best thing you can do if you do not have enough money to give to someone is to take a moment and say a short prayer that wishes them well.” The warm-hearted nature of Thailand reveals itself again in this statement.

They can be grilled, fried, eaten with chili dip or plain. They can be eaten as a full meal or a quick snack. There are piles of them all over Thailand just waiting to be served and truth said, they are quite a popular dish. Anyone care for some bugs? Water beetles, grasshoppers, locusts, silkworm pupae and ant eggs are not only high in protein but also cheap as can be. You can grab a bag of them and be off in a jiffy; definitely a unique fast food experience that McDonalds could never compete with.

Bug vending stalls are very popular photo opportunities for tourists but not many people I know have actually grazed at them. An insect venue has just opened up in my neighbourhood. I have walked by it several times but not gathered enough courage to sample anything yet.

Insect consumption originated from northeastern Thailand. Mass migration into Bangkok from this region brought insect eating right along with it. Creepy-crawly vendors have increased greatly in number over the last twenty years. Insects are now also being canned and sold in supermarkets. Just in case you are craving for some bugs in the middle of the night and your local vendor has closed up shop, you can pop the lid and snack away.

I am used to strange eating habits from northeastern Thailand, as that is where the Thai family that lives with me is from. Pity the frog that hops into my yard. It finds itself on the grill just a few minutes later. For the record, all of it is consumed and not just the legs. Bird hunting and eating was another popular backyard sport for a while but yours truly politely requested that it be put to an end. A compromise of sorts, it is always open season on the frogs but the birds are now to be left in peace. Different croaks for different folks?

I have failed most experimental eating attempts in Thailand. A few years back I was in a dimly lit restaurant with a friend who declared, “You just have to try this! You will love it!” She sounded so convincing. I grabbed a chunk of who-knew-what off the plate and popped it in my mouth. Ugh! It was fried chicken feet. To the western eye Thailand can offer up some rather bizarre food and in general no part of a chicken, fish or cow is put to waste. It is common when you are out to dinner with some Thai friends that someone will ask for your shrimp heads. They may find it strange that you aren’t eating them yourself as they are widely considered to be the best part.

For the purpose of accurate journalism my plan today is to head out and sample a few bugs. This calls for bravery on my part and will shock anyone reading this who knows me and my very finicky eating habits. This plan also makes me realize that having a few beers before hand or dragging a few friends along for the experience might make the critters go down a bit easier. Oh, I am dragging my feet. I don’t want to leave this computer, but alas it is bug time. Off I go to catch a motorcycle taxi to critter cuisine.

My trusty street vendor was surprised that I actually wanted to buy some insects from her and not just take photographs of her strange wares. I asked for a 20-baht mixed bag and was handed a nice assortment of grasshoppers and crickets. I took my little plastic bag of bug protein back home with me and dumped it out on a plate. My maid screamed in delight, “Oh! You are going to eat them! Isaan food! I like them very much! You should try this one,” she said as she pointed at the fattest grasshopper of all. “Gulp!” was my answer. I reminded myself that all germs were killed in the deep-frying process.

After five minutes of staring and contemplation, I popped some small crickets into my mouth. “Crunch!” was the sound. Chew, chew, chew, and swallow. They reminded me of a potato chip of sorts. Not bad. Truth said all that I really tasted was the oil they were fried in. They look much worse than they taste but leave a crunchy residue kind of like roasted peanut shells in your mouth.

It is only 1:45 in the afternoon and here I sit with crickets in my stomach. Mission accomplished, I have now eaten bugs and have no legs stuck in my teeth. A well-spent 44 cents and a good story but I am not planning on having them for dinner (yet). High in protein, cheap and readily available, insects (yum, yum) are an interesting culinary experience indeed.