Kat’s Window

After more than three years of living here, it is becoming even trickier to figure out what the unique features of Thailand are anymore. That’s when having visitors or eavesdropping on tourists comes in handy. Or remembering what the things that used to get on my nerves, but don’t (usually) anymore, were. I have decided to document some of Thailand’s unique features again this week, many of which had almost become unnoticeable to me. (See back issues: Uniquely Thailand, April 22, 2002: http://www.bangkokpost.net/kat/archives/220402a.html)

Do you or does anyone you know use a feather duster to keep his or her car clean? As silly as it may sound, breaking out your feather duster and giving your car a good once over is not considered strange at all in Thailand. Feather dusting cars seems to be most popular in intensely polluted Bangkok where the very idea of having a dust free car seems like the biggest uphill battle one could ever choose.

As bathrooms in Thailand can be very rustic affairs indeed, I always get excited when I spot the occasional sink, proceed to wash my hands in it and then get really annoyed when the water empties directly on to my feet and trousers. I am destined to fall for the ole ‘sink without the drainage pipe’ trick again, as it gets me every time.

A friend’s recent visit held some unexpected events and calculations at a travel agency. He wanted to go on a full-day tour of handicraft villages and was offered the following deal: “If one person goes, it is 800 baht (US$20) per person, but if two people go then it is only 500 baht for both of them.” He proceeded to introduce his imaginary and invisible friend ‘Fred’ to the confusion of the clerk.

Thailand has tons of watering holes and restaurants but don’t assume that all of these establishments keep beer or food on hand. It is a surprising fact that customers can sometimes bring food and drink along with them. On top of that, occasionally you may order a beer or a hamburger only to have a waiter or waitress run around the corner to fetch the item from a different store and serve it to you.

Most Thais like to look their best at all times but this can be made impossible during a big rainstorm. Many will find themselves without an umbrella. Some will choose to buy a new one in order to make it home in a semi-dry state. This is why you often see ‘hip people’ (tourists included) walking around the country holding electric pink, yellow or baby blue umbrellas with Hello Kitty, baby ducks, laughing teddy bears, pink hearts or chuckling panda bears on them.

It seems that most everyone has a mobile phone in Thailand. One ‘uniquely Thailand’ feature of these phones is that they come with a large variety of flashing lights as decorative features. But another unexplainable phone phenomenon simply involves answering. Person one answers the phone and says, “Hello?” Person two says, “Hello?” At this point, person one repeats, “Hello?” and person two answers with “Hello?” This can go on for up to twelve “Hellos” each.

Speaking of telephones, an article in the Bangkok Post recently reported that Thailand’s emergency number (191) gets 10,000 prank phone calls a day, many from children. Boys tended to report events such as “a fire burning…at the end of matchstick” or a dead body spotted “at a funeral” whereas girls rang up “just to say hello.”

Temperatures have been falling as Thailand gears up for official ‘cold season.’ That means that when the thermometer reads 28 degrees Celsius everyone breaks out the thickest jacket or sweater they can get their hands on and proceeds to walk around for the day declaring, “It’s freezing!” Yup, I’ve lived here too long. Here I sit with hat, sweater, socks and winter shoes. And it’s 24 degrees Celsius out.

And in closing, Thailand recently celebrated National Police Day. I didn’t know this and eyed pickup truckloads of SWAT policemen holding automatic rifles, with huge smiles on their faces, with some alarm. It all became clear that evening when I attended (by accident) a huge policeman celebration in the centre of town. All the (mostly amateur) policeman bands were allowed to play on stage and were given lots of dry ice for extra effect.

Brass knuckles and knives were on sale by the police and policemen that weren’t formally in a band simply sang karaoke at various information booths. The gruesome photographs of decapitated bodies, DUI casualties and motorcycle accident victims (on display to deter future such happenings) didn’t dampen the spirit of the celebration. “What a great day to commit a crime!” my friend said, as it was apparent that the entire police force was busy having a grand time.

It is compulsory for children between the ages of six and fifteen to attend school in Thailand. After the mandatory schooling is completed, attendance rates drop up to 50 percent, according to some statistics. Only a small percentage of students continue their education beyond secondary school.

Students in secondary programmes can choose vocational or academic courses. Vocational programmes teach skilled trades while academic courses focus on preparing students to enter university. The inability to pass entrance exams, the need to earn money and/or inability to meet the costs of higher education makes attending university impossible for many.

Tuition costs range from extremely modest to expensive. Public university tuition can be less than US$100 a semester whereas tuition at elite private universities can reach up to 100 times more. In Thailand, as in the rest of the world, education means opportunity. Those who manage to make it to university are more than proud of themselves, and their parents are even prouder. Access to education at any level and the quality of the education offered varies from region to region within Thailand. Bigger cities invariably offer bigger learning opportunities.

I recently headed out to Chiang Mai University, the largest school in northern Thailand, to sit down with some students and chat about their lives. I had a short wander through the campus, which was very scenic and green. I then detoured through one of the main buildings where I accidentally entered an impressive computer lab filled with students. Most were using the high-tech equipment to play computer games. Upon exiting the building I ran into Tetat, Chavit, and Piranan (ages 20, 19 and 20, respectively) taking a break outside in the shade at a table. All three are third-year students in a four-year computer science programme. They are learning Visual Basic, C++, Java, Assembly language, and website design.

When asked why they chose to enter their specific course, all their answers resounded with practicality. “I think after it I can get a good job and I like it,” “Computers are important for every job.” “I am interested in new technology and in the future,” was the response.

The tuition cost is 5,000 baht (US$113) per semester. Piranan lives at home with her family and drives 20-minutes to school each morning in her car. Tetat lives in off-campus student housing and pays 2,000 baht a month for rent. Chavit stays in on-campus student housing and pays only 1,700 baht to live there for the entire term. When asked about the cost of food per day, the group agreed fully upon the figure of 100 baht, but explained that sometimes they eat fast food (KFC, Pizza Hut, Sizzler), which is very expensive.

All three students have mobile phones and none would admit to having a boyfriend or girlfriend. “No interest,” “No time,” and “No luck,” were the given reasons. When asked what they enjoy doing in their spare time, Tetat stated, “Studying, playing computer games and surfing the internet.” Piranan said, “Going to the movies, singing karaoke and visiting local waterfalls,” and Chavit claimed, “Eating at a local famous restaurant, like one that serves local steak,” is one of his favourite things to do.

None of the three students had a job at present, although Piranan said she earned money in the past by babysitting. When asked how much spending money they needed per month the answer ranged from 3,000 baht-5, 000 baht (US$68-113).

When asked what each would do if hypothetically given 5,000 baht, Piranan quickly stated, “Keep it in the bank or go out shopping. I might spend it on clothes or some interesting food to eat.” Chavit declared, “Take extra classes,” and Tetat answered, “Spend it all on books about computers.”

Ten years from now Chavit hopes to be selling computers and computer programmes and thinks he will earn about 15,000 baht per month. Tetat sees himself being married with children and working as a systems analyst earning 50,000 baht per month. Piranan hopes to own her own business and make 30,000 baht per month. They explained that Chiang Mai is a ‘low-tech’ town and that moving to Bangkok to get a job is common.

When asked about their college experience, some of the answers given were: “It is the best time of your life!” “It’s a time for friends and discovery,” “You don’t have to work,” and “My future depends on it!”

When questioned as to what they like most about their country, the friendly people, interesting culture, beautiful temples and its natural beauty were on the plus side; traffic jams in Bangkok, dirty air, lax law enforcement, drugs and the heat on the negative.

When asked what their message to the readers of this column might be, they declared, “Come to Thailand! The people are shy but friendly and there are a lot of things to see here!”

People who hawk food in Thailand, otherwise known as street vendors, can be found in the quietest and sleepiest of neighbourhoods as well blocking the busiest of sidewalks. Their stalls can let off aromas that will make your stomach smile in anticipation or cause you to gag. Most any visitor to Thailand has survived the unforgettable experience of having the fumes from freshly cooked chili rising from a hawker stall causing profuse eye watering. Hawker stalls are basically transportable restaurants that range in size. Hawker food and all of the apparatus and the vendors that go with it represent one of the most colourful and inventive sides of Thailand.

Rows of aluminum pots, frying pans and woks on top of charcoal or gas stoves, mortars and pestles, glass showcases displaying pre-cooked food or raw ingredients, clay pots, and bamboo containers are but a few ways food may be presented and stored for potential customers. From a five-baht snack to a forty-baht main meal, hawkers ensure that everyone manages to find something for most any craving and most any budget. With relatively unsophisticated equipment, Thai hawker stalls do a spectacular job turning out food, and lots of it.

Some street stalls offer small tables and plastic chairs for customers to dine at while others just hand off the food in plastic bags and leave it to the diners to find a place to eat it at. The major areas of hawker food include main meals served with rice, noodles of every shape and size, snacks and more snacks, deserts and refreshments.

Sit for five minutes on a busy street corner and see what kind of food is for sale or passing you by. Roasted eggs, flour pancakes, papaya salad, barbequed chicken, fish balls, dried squid, fried crab in curry, dumplings, roasted potatoes, boiled bananas in coconut syrup, fried rice, grilled meatballs, palm cakes, and fresh fruit might be just a few things that you’ll spot. And that is not including the refreshment options also readily available. Coke, fruit juice, herbal ice tea, sugar cane juice, not to mention beer and whisky, are but some. An often-overlooked aspect of the hawker food service is the very small and frequently mobile bar set up near a group of hawker stalls. Small pick-up trucks, tuk tuks and pushcarts are cleverly converted into watering holes and offer the cheapest drinks in town.

Although some may be skeptical to try hawker food due to the sometimes unsanitary conditions associated with it, the best idea is to give the hawker stall a look over. Truth said, some of the food preparation areas in well-known restaurants could be even more disastrous even though (and perhaps due to the fact that) they are usually out of view.

Street eating generally includes having to ask for your meal from the person who is going to cook it and paying for it on the spot if it is busy. If there is a table available, take it. It is typical to wipe off your dining utensils and plate with a tissue before you start eating. Condiments including soy sauce, dried chili, chilies in vinegar, sugar, and fish sauce are usually provided. When you are finished, someone will come around and clear the table, so no need to worry. You can bring your own drinks along with you if you wish.

There is no cheaper or easier way to sample the amazingly wide variety of food that Thailand has to offer. Another benefit is that if you don’t speak Thai, you can simply point at what you wish to try, an option obviously not available at formal sit down restaurants with no English menu. It is also a good idea to ask around and find out where the best hawker stall(s) in the area are located. It is not at all uncommon to find people going five, ten or twenty blocks out of their way in order to enjoy a meal at one.

Eating is perhaps Thailand’s number one pastime. This is obviously a well-known fact to those in the hawker business. It is not uncommon while you are already eating at a hawker stall to have another hawker come up on foot and offer you even more food. Hawkers also make their ways through public parks, traffic jams, office buildings, factories and sporting events. There is just so much food passing by all the time and it all manages to get eaten!

Hawker food helps guarantee that no matter what time of day or night, the chance of you having to walk around hungry in Thailand is small and makes a hot dog stand look quite boring indeed.

Muay Thai, otherwise known as Thai boxing, is the beloved national sport of Thailand. Although it is similar to western-style boxing, the posture, stance and rules of Muay Thai are quite different. Perhaps the most well-known Muay Thai moves are the powerful sweeping kicks delivered by boxers who have desensitised their shins by repeatedly smashing them against banana trees or punching bags. Elbows and knees play the most important part in a match and are used to deliver devastating blows to the opponent’s head and body. Pretty much anything goes during a match; only the head cannot be used to deliver blows to an opponent. Attending a Muay Thai fight is not for the weak of heart. It is ultra-violent, bloody and explosive.

Some Muay Thai matches are put on just for show to entertain tourists while giving them an overview of the sport. But real Muay Thai matches are happening all over the country on any given day and can take place either in a large stadium or in a make shift ring out in the middle of nowhere. When the fighters choose to really go at it, the spine-tingling sounds of well-delivered and fierce blows can be heard over the roaring crowd and the wild and chaotic-sounding musical accompaniment that goes with it.

The earliest accounts of Muay Thai originate from the 15th and 16th centuries when Thailand and Myanmar (Burma) were waging war on one another. Over time, the combat style evolved and improved. Muay Thai is a vicious form of unarmed combat even today and is considered one of the ultimate styles when it comes to hand to hand fighting. No one trained in another martial art has been capable of defeating an expert Muay Thai fighter.

Muay Thai was not only used in times of war but also as a form of exercise and a way to test the strength and skill of men. King Rama V, who took the throne in 1868, organised the art of Muay Thai into a sport. He built a Royal Boxing Camp within the palace, organised Muay Thai contests throughout the Kingdom and organised Muay Thai training camps and curricula. Muay Thai fights, which used to take place in a ring drawn on the ground, were soon taking place in the proper rings of today. During the reign of King Rama V the popularity of Muay Thai skyrocketed and its popularity is still evident today.

Thai television stations telecast fights at the weekend. The better seats for an important title fight cost good money. The more important the fight, the more gambling that will take place on its behalf. A Muay Thai champion is a Michael Schumacher or David Beckham of sorts and little kids dream of growing up one day to be just like them. Some boxers fight for a title. Others fight for money. Many males participate in a Muay Thai fight as a rite-of-passage into manhood.

There are 16 weight divisions in Muay Thai and, similar to western-style boxing, fights take place in rings covered by canvas with four posts that support the ropes. Five three-minute rounds separated by two-minute breaks leave the fighters exhausted and the crowds cheering for more.

There is much ritual surrounding the art of Muay Thai. A Thai boxer usually adopts the name of his training camp as his own last name and his relationship with his trainer is a close one filled with respect. Before a boxer begins a fight, he will dance the ‘ram muay’ (boxing dance) as a way to honour both his trainer and the boxing spirits as ringside musicians manage to make a heck of a lot of noise with only a few instruments. Every fighter wears a headband and armbands, and both are sacred objects. The headband will be removed before the fight begins but the armbands will be worn throughout the event and hold small Buddha amulets inside that offer protection to the fighter.

Lumpini and Ratchadmnoen Stadiums are the two best-known venues for Muay Thai fights in Bangkok but fights can be found in the smallest of towns. Another aspect worth investigating is one of the thousands of Muay Thai training camps throughout the country. The number of foreigners attending these camps is steadily on the rise but be warned. Trainees must follow a strict daily routine similar to that of a military boot camp. Another interesting feature of Thailand’s Muay Thai scene: transexual Muay Thai boxer Parinya Kiatbusaba who left the sport after a successful career (17 knockouts in 22 fights) at age 18 using his winnings to have sex reassignment surgery.